Stream of Unconsciousness...

Today, my boss, Maria, was coming on board. She had never been on a Grand class ship in the Princess fleet, so this was her day.

She arrived at about 11am, with two packages that I had been expecting...well, PART of what I had been expecting. I had ordered my hair product (yes, I said, "PRODUCT") and Dad was sending me a WiFi phone for my birthday, that I would be able to use on the ship. The first package was the two containers of my hair clay....and the other was an envelope with the phone's memory card. Great. No phone. Sad day.

Maria then got a grand tour from Ben (the Senior Assistant Cruise Director) to see the accommodations that we enjoy as "guest lecturers". My boss always has to deal with a bunch of garbage from instructors that whine and complain about how small the cabins are, and how awful the arrangements are. Maria brought along two co-workers, one with a camera, so they could have on-record, pictures of the accommodations that we have on-board.

She first saw my cabin, one of the Officer's bunk-bed cabins, which really aren't that bad. There's plenty of space, and even some sitting room, a desk, a wardrobe, tons of drawer space, and a bigger bathroom than the crew members.

But Maria wasn't getting complaints about the bunk cabins. It was some of the older, more senior members of our company that had been used to having passenger cabins when they cruised for leisure. They were upset about the double-beds in the cabins (EXACTLY like the last cabin I have. There's pictures of them on Flickr).

When Maria stepped into the cabin, she took one look around, planted her foot and said, "That's IT! The next person that complains about their accommodations is fired!" (They should just put them in a crew cabin, with the wait staff and technicians. They get put FOUR to a cabin that's no bigger than my own!)

Following the tour, I asked Maria where we were eating. She made plans to eat on-board, in the buffet! Big spender. :o) (Love you, Maria!) Hmm, maybe this is why my paycheck didn't hit the bank this morning? I was supposed to be paid every two weeks, happening to be the day that I arrived in Fort Lauderdale every week. Not the BEST of timing, especially if I didn't have any money in my checking account.

While we were eating, I got stares from several of the wait staff that knew me. 'Who were these three beautiful ladies hanging out with Scott? I've heard of "a woman in every port", but he's got THREE!' I imagine they're thinking.

Following lunch, Maria and the girls were heading back to the office, and dropped me off at the Galleria mall. "Don't spend too much!" she said, before speeding away. How can I? I didn't get a paycheck!

As soon as she drove off, I felt my pockets for my phone. Uh-oh. What now? With a deep sigh, I walk into the mall, trying to find a payphone. How am I going to call her? I don't have her number. I left my PocketPC and iPod on the ship (BOTH with her number).

Well, not much else I can do right now, so what do I do? I head to the Apple Store to chill out. The first thing I see when I walk in...iPhones!

No, I'm not going to buy one, but you CAN make phone calls from the display models! GOOG-411, baby! I finally get my company's number and Carol picks up the phone (another SS employee). But Maria's already left from the office! What now?

"Can I call you back?" Carol asks.

"Umm...I'm on an iPhone in the Apple Store," I sheepishly say. "You might not be able to call me back."

"Call me back in 2 minutes." she says. The longest two minutes of my life are ticking away.

120 seconds later, I dial GOOG-411 (I still don't know the number) and I get Maria...but she doesn't have my phone. So, I dig through my bag again (I'm ALWAYS losing things in the overabundance of pockets), and it's actually in one of the mesh outside pockets!

Geesh, Scott. For real.

So, the last two destinations were St. Thomas and St. Vincent, but this time, I went out with Camila, one of the Princess photographers. We've been sharing pictures a lot lately, since we don't always go out on port on the same days. But on these two destinations, we both went out to take pictures.

St. Vincent is VERY hard to take pictures of, since it's not the most attractive (or safest) of places. The only thing of note nearby is the open marketplace, so the day wasn't a complete loss. (see pics on Flickr)


In St. Thomas, Camila had ONE thing on her mind. She's been trying to buy a new digital SLR camera. She's been price shopping for the Canon 50D for quite some time, and it seems to be even cheaper in St. Thomas than in the US mainland (which is VERY odd).


Camila was wresting with the decision about making the purchase today, or waiting until she got her next paycheck. She had enough money to buy the camera and lens now, but then she'd have $10 to spare for the next five days.


Well, the wrestling match is over. Camila bought the camera. She runs a pretty aggressive bargain, too. On the US mainland. The Canon 50D and the 17-135mm lens runs $1399 at best. Camila fought the salesman down to $1300 even for the camera, the lens, a case, a memory card, and a UV filter!


No sooner than she walked out the door, she went to a high-end clothing store to celebrate the occasion. She immediately began assembling her camera IN THE STORE. She walked out with a huge grin and a huge camera in-hand.


Sure, she's broke now, but a 16MP Canon 50D is a small price to pay for lasting happiness.

Following the last blog entry, I got back down to the Internet Café with my laptop, and I was beginning to finish up some work for my next cruise schedule of classes.

I see a woman walk in from out of the corner of my eye. “Good evening.” I say to her. She doesn’t reply ‘Typical,’ I think to myself. Then I realize that she didn’t ignore me, she was just trying to figure something out.

“I KNOW you!” she exclaims, pointing a finger at me. Well, really, it helps to have my photo and bio plastered over all of the class’s publicity materials…on the table next to me. Oh, and my bright gold nametag, too.

“Do you?” I said, expecting a little bit more.

“You’re Scott Abraham!” she continued. I was still puzzled. Okay, good…good…she can read, which is saying a lot, considering most passengers come to me with my bio in-hand (with my picture, mind you) and say, “Is this you?”

“No, really! I READ YOUR BLOG!!!” she says, absentmindedly pointing at the table. What? Okay, this just got a little stranger. Did I totally go bonkers and put my blog info on my materials?

“Um, I don’t understand. How do you know about my blog online? I haven’t told anyone on the ship about that!” I’m really getting nervous. This might be a GAME OVER for me, since I’ve said some unsavory things about passengers before.

“I was reading around the web for information before I came on this cruise, and I stumbled across your blog! And I thought to myself, ‘This guy is interesting and his stories are really funny!’ So I just kept on reading! I’ve been following it for a while, and I’ve even read back to the beginning of your blog. You know, the point at which you were still excited about working on the ship!”

“Wow,” I say to her. “This is a first for me. I’ve never talked with a passenger that knew me before I knew them, much less, four months worth of my life.” (I CAN’T believe I’m about to use this line.) “It’s nice to meet a fan.*cringe* I guess I need to be more careful about what I’m writing about you, right?”

She had a good laugh, and I was much more at ease, knowing that it was actually working in my favor.

You know what they say about being careful about what you write in the Great Void that is the Internet...it'll get back to you, someday (and maybe to your employer). Fortunately, I had more pleasant results than some. :o)

(SIDE NOTE: Not a couple days ago, I had a person comment on one of my blog entries, saying that she is going to be a passenger on the Grand come the 30th of January. As if ONE person wasn't strange enough, try TWO within 2 WEEKS!)

Well, today was an eventful day (a slight understatement). You might recall me mentioning that I was contacted by Captain Nick Carlton in regards to his new Mac that he purchased right before Christmas. Well, today was the day of truth!

This morning, I was woken up with a cheery voice over the phone, “Hey, Scott. It’s the Captain. I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to get back to you, but I was wondering when you might have time for those lessons we talked about.”

I was still in a slight daze of stupor, since I had just rolled out of bed. “Yeah, um…sure…” I stammered, still a little confused at who I was talking to. I knew I was talking to someone important, but my brain was still booting.

“So,” he said, “when would be a good time for you?”
Right then, I snapped into reality, “Did you have time available this evening?” I replied.
“Yes, that would be wonderful. I have the sail-away at 6pm, but then, I’ll be back in my cabin for the rest of the evening.”
“At, say…seven-thirty?”
“Absolutely! See you then!”
“My pleasure, sir.”

We hung up, and I started making a list of things to teach him (we can’t have the Cap’n getting bored, now, can we?).

At 7:29pm, I arrived at his cabin and rang the doorbell.
“I’m over here!” he called from the next door down. “Come on in!”
I know it’s a shame for me to say this, but I thought he’d be taller. ;o) Captain Carlton was a man of about 5-foot-7-inches. Though he was originally from England, I was surprised to notice that he didn’t have much of a pronounced accent.

The captain offered me a glass of wine, which I kindly declined (I don’t drink alcohol). So, in its stead, he offered me an Italian soda, that apparently, the previous captain enjoyed quite well. ‘Sure,’ I thought to myself. ‘Why the heck not?’ It was a funky black 12oz can with a fancy-ish label. I popped the can, poured a little in a glass, and took a swig.

Shouldn’t have done that. It tasted so awful that I resisted swallowing. When I looked at the captain out of the corner of my eye, I quickly swallowed.

“What do you think?” he asked. When he saw my sheepish grin, and noticed that I had grimaced when I swallowed. “Not your thing, eh? Can I offer you something else? I suppose water’s a safe bet?” I nodded.

He came back with a bottle of water, and I graciously thanked him. He took a swig of the can, himself, and commented, “It tastes like Red Bull…” as he walked off into the other room. He then returned with another drink. It didn’t suit his taste, either.

So, as we sat down, we talked a little about what he wanted to be able to do with his computer. The GIST is that he was replacing a 7-year-old Dell Inspiron laptop that finally went up in smoke (laptops aren’t supposed to last more than about 3 years).

Anyways, blah-blah-buh-dee-blah-buh-dee-blah-buh-dee-boo… I’ve bored you enough.

At about 10:00pm, the Captain had everything he needed to know (which was a good thing, since we had been plugging away since 7:30), and as I packed up my things, the Captain asked me, “So, Scott, thank you very much. Is there anything that I can do for you? (ATTN: TRAVIS!!!) Have you had a chance to see the Bridge?”

HA! SCORE! Since October, I’ve wanted to be able to see all the things that even most crew members never got to see.

“I’d love that.” I replied enthusiastically. He still looked at me expectantly, “Anything else?”

“Well,” I continued, “if it’s possible, I’d really like to see the engine room, as well.”

“Absolutely!” he said. “I’ll talk with my chief engineer and arrange that. I’ll even give you a personal tour, myself, since I’ll have some time available.”

And there you have it, folks. Yours truly is getting a personal tour of the bridge and the engine room of the Grand Princess!

I left the Captain’s quarters about 10:10. I had just gotten down to the Internet Café, when I got a page from the Captain. I dialed him back.

“Scott! You forgot your laptop up here!”

Today, as I walked into the Officer mess, I was greeted, as usual by Cherry Lee (one of the Wait Staff), and Andrew (the supervisor). After ordering my entree, I headed towards the food line to pick something up as I waited for my food to come out.

Well, it’s official! Head office found out that I had my own room, and they yanked it out from under me. As per my company’s agreement with Princess, I must share a cabin with the Internet Manager.

Now, before you start sobbing on my behalf (yeah, Jillian, I’m talking to you), I’d like to you know that I’m okay with it. I’ll make it through. I’ll tough it out. I’ll move on. I’ll bite the bullet. I’ll fjord the river. I’ll eat the worm. I’ll…okay, you get the idea.

…

So, this morning, weighed down with all of my belongings, I trudged out of Officer Cabin 4246…and nudged my way into Officer Cabin 4250.

Wait? What? That’s right. I’m STILL in an officer’s cabin. :oD Only two doors down, I’m going to be sharing a cabin with the new Internet Manager, Vlatko. And yes, I still have my porthole view.

I don’t have a double-bed anymore, but then again, I’m sharing a cabin with Vlat, so um…yeah, I don’t need to explain that.

Who’s Vlatko? He’s the new Internet Café Manager for MTN (Maritime Telecommunications Networks). He’s a pretty cool guy from Macedonia (and he has a cool accent), and he’s pretty funny in the “I’m-bad-at-making-American-jokes-because-I-don’t-understand-the-idioms” kinda way. :o)

I DO have ONE problem with my new cabin. The location.

“But Scott, it’s only two doors away!” you might say.

Well, the problem is that I am now on the OUTSIDE of the watertight door. Thanks, Practica.

NEW PICTURES!!!

Delayed post from 12.29.2008

As you guys might know, I don’t like riding in busses packed full of tourists. It’s near impossible to get the photos you want, without having a tourist (or a tour guide) step into your picture. Then you have the hassle of “Everybody get out! Isn’t that amazing! Everybody back on!”, not to mention being poked and prodded on like cattle. So to avoid the herd, I rented a scooter for the day. This was the logical method of transportation, since taxis cost the same, AND you forfeit your stop-and-go privileges (not to mention, you have to know where you want the driver to take you).

What you might NOT know is that I haven’t ever actually driven a scooter before, which takes a little more than just a driver’s license and knowing how to ride a bike (which was about all the experience I had). Oh, also, in St. Thomas, they drive on the wrong (yes, I said, “WRONG”) side of the road.

So, anyways, I signed my forms and insurance waiver, grabbed a helmet and my keys and headed out to check over my scooter. The “WUSSI”. Wow. That was the make of the scooter. Any delusions of power and speed just got sucked into the air intake of the truck barreling down on me from behind as I puttered off into the fog (which was actually just the plumes of smoke from the dump truck I got stuck behind).

About 30 meters, and one curve later (wow, I’m already starting to talk in metrics!) I realized that I had no concept of balance (everything you learned riding your bike gets a little more complicated when you throw a 250cc four-stroke between your legs). And it really didn’t help that I had a sling-style laptop bag throwing me off balance.

At the first intersection, I saw the light turn yellow. I had plenty of time to pass through, but I decided against it, since I was new to this. So, I apply the handbrakes and…a lot of squeal…but not a lot of stop.

I finally came to a halt, right in the middle of the intersection. Not a great place to be. Not wanting to become road kill, I torqued the throttle and buzzed out of harm’s way. Thinking that this might not be the best thing to deal with, I went back to the scooter shop, and asked for a different scooter.

Another couple minutes and a brake-check later, I was back on the road and boldly back on my way to nowhere in particular. For the first 15 minutes or so, I took it easy on the Wussi, not going more than about 25 miles per hour. In my mirrors, I saw a sedan trying to pass me. So, as a courtesy, I flicked on my hazards and pulled off onto the gravel shoulder. I applied the brakes just a little too hard, and the back-end of the scooter shot out from under me, and into the ditch.

Ow. Am I dead? No. Am I hurt? My ego’s a bit bruised, but nothing too serious. Where’s my laptop? Still around my shoulder. Did anyone see? Everybody at the shop across the street. Anyone care to help? No? Okay. Thanks anyways. It’s the thought that counts. Ow.

A little jarred, I stood up, brushed the dirt off my dignity and pulled the scooter back on to the road. I zipped back up to speed and was on my way, again.

SPLAT! I got pelted in the face with something wet. ‘God, please, no bugs no bugs no bugs!’ Well, it wasn’t a bug. It was just rain. But when your only method of transportation is a scooter (which you haven’t ridden before), rain is not a good thing. And when you’re zipping along at a brisk 40-45 miles per hour (they’re one of a few islands that use miles-per-hour), not only are the road conditions dangerous, but the rain hurts!

The time is now 10:20am. It’s not even lunchtime, and I’m already miserable, bruised, and wet. As the rain begins to pour down harder, I arrive in the next town, and I pull into a McDonalds. I nearly drop the scooter, forgetting about the kickstand, but I finally gather myself together and dash inside.

I’m safe inside, but I’m dripping like a wet dog. I get a strange look from the manager at the counter. “Yeah, I know. “ I say to her. “Not a great day to rent a scooter.”

The rain finally subsides, so I scarf down the rest of my sausage-and-egg-biscuit, grab my helmet, and head out. Before I continue on my travels, I shoot over to Kmart to pick up a backpack to replace my previously destroyed laptop bag (read “My ATV Adventure in Mykonos”). While this does nothing for the driver-scooter balance issue, it does eliminate the driver-laptop bag balance issue.

The rest of the day goes something like this. 45mph shower. 50mph blow-dry. 45mph shower. 50mph blow-dry. 45mph shower. 50mph blow-dry. 45mph shower. 50mph blow-dry. 45mph shower. 50mph blow-dry.

Right as I’m about to arrive back in the town where I rented the scooter from, I hit some serious traffic. (Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I’m riding a scooter. I can go around the traffic. It really didn’t help, with the narrow lanes and gravel shoulders.) So, while I’m sitting in traffic, the sky darkens again.

oh crap.

Finally at about 3:30pm, I pull back into the scooter shop, still damp from the day’s rinse-and-dry cycles.

So, I ask again, “Where the heck is St. Thomas when you need him in St. Thomas?”

Oh, that’s right. He’s dead.

NEW PICTURES!!!

7:42pm

We should’ve left already by 6pm, now it’s nearly 8 and we still haven’t departed. Apparently the tugboat that brought us in this morning broke down. Tonight’s journey was supposed to be an all-night full-speed run to La Romana, but since we’re already two hours behind, with no prospect of the thrusters working, or the tugboat getting fixed on time, it looks like we’re going to have to skip the destination for this cruise.

I noticed many people outside on the Promenade deck, so I went outside to see what the fuss was about. The MSC Orchestra (one of the other vessels in the dock) pushed away from the pier, and backed out towards the sea (there wasn’t much maneuvering space, with three massive cruise liners in the dock. As it nearly got out of the dock, there was a growling, burbling noise as the ship did a slow 180-degree turn to face out towards the sea.

“What’s that noise?” said a crewmember on the deck above me.

“Oh, that’s the Orchestra’s bow and stern thrusters, his buddy replied. “*sigh*...I miss that noise…”

The behemoth MSC sounded three long blasts from its horns (an indicator that it was reversing direction), and started churning up the water as it backed slowly towards the pier. There was a lot of chatter from the decks above, with people trying to figure out why the ship was heading back into dock.

“Maybe they’re doing a training exercise?” said one person.

“Maybe the captain is practicing parallel parking?” quipped another. An officer joined me out on the deck, and overheard the talk from above.

“Didn’t you hear?” the officer asked, “The captain forgot his iPod.” causing a bout of laughter from everyone in earshot.

“Hey! You’re going the wrong way!” shouted someone from the Grand. There was an unintelligible reply from the Orchestra, but it was still enough to make everyone howl in laughter.

Sure, passengers onboard were grumpy that they were missing out on La Romana, but at least they were getting a good laugh....

PICTURES GOING UP NOW!!!

Well, I got a nice surprise today, as I got off the tender in the Princess Cays. The first thing I noticed was that there weren’t any other ships near the port. The next thing I noticed is that there wasn’t really any port to speak of.


When I got off the tender, there was a sign stating that the final departure for returning to the ship was for 3:30pm. This was highly unusual. We don’t normally leave a port until about 5 or 6pm.

On the beach, it seemed that there were only people from the Grand Princess! This was evident from the fact that every guest carried that hideous blue and white striped towel. The last thing that threw me was that the Princess Wait Staff was EVERYWHERE! They were serving drinks and food, just like they did on the ship.

What the HECK is going ON here?

Then it hit me. It wasn’t called the “Princess Cays” for nothing. This was a private island owned by Princess! The island was all of about 2 miles long, and there was nothing on land that wasn’t carried here from the ship.

Anyways, there wasn't a whole lot to do here. But it was VERY nice being away from traditional tourist locations. I mostly hung out with Trev and we worked on our "tans".


Oh, BTW. Trevor's from South Africa. Yup. He's black, and he's working on his "tan". I've not been able to figure that one out yet.